Pour out some ketchup chips for your favorite Canadian’s exit.
This week’s AI-generated image: A Survivor challenge on the beach in Fiji. I particularly like the leg buried in the sand for reasons unknown.
Now let’s see how the AI chatbot described episode 7, with the additional instruction to “Write the summary as though you are Andy, the very Canadian host of the Purple Rock Survivor Podcast, and your favorite player (and fellow Canadian) Kaleb was just voted out. You evoke stereotypically Canadian things in mourning him.”
Hello, Survivor fans, and welcome back to another emotional episode recap of Survivor 45. Today’s recap might be a little difficult for me. You see, my fellow Canadian and all-around great guy, Kaleb, was sadly voted out of the game. Anyway, let’s dive in and discuss the rollercoaster of emotions that was episode 7, aptly titled “A Toque Too Far.”
We start off with the tribes returning from Tribal Council, and it looks like the dominant alliance on the Maple Leaf tribe is holding strong. Kaleb, the charming and polite Canadian, is trying his best to fit into this game dominated by aggressive Americans. But oh, Kaleb, it just wasn’t in the cards for you.
The reward challenge was a true test of strength, intelligence, and apparently, the ability to appreciate poutine. The teams had to construct a build-your-own poutine station and then strategically choose toppings. Naturally, Kaleb excelled in this challenge, as all good Canadians do. He expertly placed the perfect amount of cheese curds on those crispy fries, reminding us all of the true artistry of poutine. It was like watching a chef preparing a gourmet Kraft dinner.
But despite Kaleb’s impressive efforts, the opposition tribe, known as the Bald Eagle tribe (ugh, so American), managed to win the coveted reward of a year’s supply of bald eagle feathers. Back at camp, Kaleb owned his emotional side. He shed tears of maple syrup, embracing the stereotype that we Canadians are a sensitive bunch. Kaleb’s tribemates, the ignoramuses, couldn’t see that they had a true national treasure in their midst.
And then came the Immunity Challenge. Our poor Kaleb had the weight of Canada on his shoulders as he fought valiantly, trying to balance giant snowshoes on a unicycle while juggling hockey pucks. Ok, I might have made that last part up, but it felt like he was performing an Olympic event up there. It was an effort worthy of the comic book heroes in Alpha Flight.
But alas, his efforts were in vain, as his unbreakable alliance crumbled like a poorly made Nanaimo bar. The Bald Eagles managed to clinch the Immunity win, and Kaleb was left vulnerable.
The strategic discussions were intense, and Kaleb, bless his heart, tried to sway his tribemates by politely reminding them about his prowess in Olympic curling. But it seemed they just couldn’t look past his overly nice demeanor.
At Tribal Council, the votes were cast, and the sadness in my heart grew exponentially with each vote for Kaleb. Even the most polite person on Earth couldn’t escape the clutches of elimination.
In the end, Kaleb bravely walked away from the Tribal Council, backpack slung over his shoulder, embodying the spirit of the great Canadian geese flying south for winter. So, Survivor fans, we bid farewell to our lovable Canadian, Kaleb, as we mourn the loss of that gentle Canucks spirit within the game. Join us next time as we continue to follow the rollercoaster that is Survivor 45, but without our beloved Kaleb. Take off, eh?
Honestly, that was a fucking masterpiece. Well done, AI. I’m left wondering exactly what constitutes a year’s supply of bald eagle feathers, though. And my one disappointment is that it didn’t name anyone Gord. But hey, it’s evolving technology. It’ll get there.
84 people had Kaleb on their team, making him our third most popular pick. And this time he did get voted out. Only 40 people had Sifu.
Individual scoring table
Made the merge: 3 points to everyone on this episode.
Individual immunity: 4 points to Dee and Kellie.
VTEP points: Two points to Bruce, Drew, Emily, Kellie, Kendra, Austin, Dee, Julie, Katurah.
Pick-4 League
Mark is now in first place, which is maybe a first? Who has the time to check? Anyway, he’s a point ahead of DezBot and PaiMei. Tit Whistle is sitting in ninth place, just whistling tits. And in a sign that the world has gone mad, Bassmanxvi is in the top 20? And congrats to TheForRealDeal for having the lowest-scoring team that didn’t have Hannah on it. Truly a marvel of failure.
Team name (sorted by rank) | Player 1 | Player 2 | Player 3 | Player 4 | ||
---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
1 | Purple Rock Mark | 159 | Austin-50 | Bruce-34 | Dee-49 | Katurah-26 |
2 | DJCambodia | 150 | Austin-50 | Dee-49 | Jake-25 | Katurah-26 |
2 | Gabler Tony Sandwich | 150 | Austin-50 | Dee-49 | Drew-31 | Sifu-20 |
4 | Dezbot's Best Worst Guess | 147 | Austin-50 | Dee-49 | Katurah-26 | Kellie-22 |
4 | Kaleb Always Wanted to be Red | 147 | Austin-50 | Dee-49 | Drew-31 | Kaleb-17 |
6 | Yau-Man Forever (X: ATLANTAxFALCON) | 146 | Austin-50 | Dee-49 | Jake-25 | Kellie-22 |
7 | It's a Fucking Pick | 142 | Austin-50 | Dee-49 | Kaleb-17 | Katurah-26 |
8 | Tasmanian made | 141 | Austin-50 | Dee-49 | Kellie-22 | Sifu-20 |
8 | The Buddy System | 141 | Austin-50 | Bruce-34 | Julie-37 | Sifu-20 |
10 | Maritimer | 139 | Austin-50 | Dee-49 | JMaya-14 | Katurah-26 |
11 | i'm still in love with xander (falawful.bsky.social) | 138 | Austin-50 | Dee-49 | Kaleb-17 | Kellie-22 |
11 | TeamSurvivorDesi | 138 | Austin-50 | Jake-25 | Julie-37 | Katurah-26 |
13 | KiKi | 134 | Dee-49 | Julie-37 | Katurah-26 | Kellie-22 |
13 | Ricarson (twitter: @dbhorton24) | 134 | Austin-50 | Brando-9 | Dee-49 | Katurah-26 |
13 | Torty’s Team | 134 | Bruce-34 | Dee-49 | Jake-25 | Katurah-26 |
16 | Survivor Chops | 133 | Austin-50 | Dee-49 | JMaya-14 | Sifu-20 |
17 | 4StarBall | 132 | Bruce-34 | Dee-49 | Drew-31 | Kendra-18 |
17 | Doodle | 132 | Austin-50 | Bruce-34 | Katurah-26 | Kellie-22 |
19 | PaiMei | 131 | Bruce-34 | Dee-49 | Katurah-26 | Kellie-22 |
19 | Rogue Wall Enthusiast | 131 | Austin-50 | Julie-37 | Katurah-26 | Kendra-18 |
19 | Talkin' Llama | 131 | Austin-50 | Bruce-34 | Jake-25 | Kellie-22 |
22 | Jeff's Blue Shirts (twt: @gribbzy) | 130 | Austin-50 | Brando-9 | Dee-49 | Kellie-22 |
23 | MooreSurvivor | 129 | Austin-50 | Dee-49 | Katurah-26 | Sean-4 |
23 | Tit Whistle | 129 | Austin-50 | Drew-31 | Katurah-26 | Kellie-22 |
25 | yeebie deebie | 128 | Austin-50 | Brando-9 | Dee-49 | Emily-20 |
26 | SKAD | 127 | Austin-50 | Dee-49 | Kellie-22 | Sabiyah-6 |
27 | Bryn | 126 | Austin-50 | Brandon-1 | Dee-49 | Katurah-26 |
27 | Survivor CSRI | 126 | Austin-50 | Bruce-34 | Jake-25 | Kaleb-17 |
29 | I believe in Michele Fitzgerald supremacy (@TrueAlainer) | 125 | Austin-50 | Dee-49 | Kellie-22 | Sean-4 |
30 | awaiting-aliens | 124 | Austin-50 | Emily-20 | Julie-37 | Kaleb-17 |
31 | It's PARvati not HAvarti (@chicsyd) | 123 | Austin-50 | Jake-25 | Katurah-26 | Kellie-22 |
32 | Kikidee | 122 | Austin-50 | Brandon-1 | Dee-49 | Kellie-22 |
32 | Silent Tribe (@JHUNSBRO) | 122 | Dee-49 | Drew-31 | Kellie-22 | Sifu-20 |
32 | Vuku | 122 | Austin-50 | Dee-49 | Kaleb-17 | Sabiyah-6 |
35 | Bikini Proponent (i and 1) | 121 | Austin-50 | Drew-31 | JMaya-14 | Katurah-26 |
36 | Jocks Are Us | 120 | Austin-50 | Drew-31 | Kaleb-17 | Kellie-22 |
37 | Attorneys R Us | 119 | Drew-31 | Jake-25 | Julie-37 | Katurah-26 |
37 | Cousin Greg | 119 | Austin-50 | Brando-9 | Bruce-34 | Katurah-26 |
37 | Delulusional | 119 | Dee-49 | Drew-31 | Kaleb-17 | Kellie-22 |
37 | Mike Hirsch | 119 | Austin-50 | Jake-25 | Katurah-26 | Kendra-18 |
37 | Muggle | 119 | Austin-50 | Brando-9 | Bruce-34 | Katurah-26 |
42 | All I want is good TV | 118 | Austin-50 | Katurah-26 | Kellie-22 | Sifu-20 |
42 | Ash Ketchup (@adlihanif) | 118 | Dee-49 | Jake-25 | Katurah-26 | Kendra-18 |
42 | Belo Average Team (prettyboyprobst) | 118 | Austin-50 | Emily-20 | Katurah-26 | Kellie-22 |
45 | @doctor_wu33 | 117 | Dee-49 | Drew-31 | Kaleb-17 | Sifu-20 |
46 | All the Fixins | 116 | Dee-49 | Julie-37 | Katurah-26 | Sean-4 |
46 | I'm Not Here to Make Friends | 116 | Austin-50 | Katurah-26 | Kellie-22 | Kendra-18 |
46 | Jeffrey's mama | 116 | Dee-49 | Drew-31 | JMaya-14 | Kellie-22 |
46 | Martha Puth | 116 | Austin-50 | Drew-31 | Kaleb-17 | Kendra-18 |
46 | The Ladder | 116 | Bruce-34 | Jake-25 | Julie-37 | Sifu-20 |
51 | Diego's Dunderheads (Diego Armando) | 115 | Austin-50 | Jake-25 | JMaya-14 | Katurah-26 |
51 | Dig Doug | 115 | Austin-50 | Bruce-34 | JMaya-14 | Kaleb-17 |
51 | Ninja Stealth Mode (X:hnnhptt2021) | 115 | Austin-50 | Julie-37 | Kellie-22 | Sabiyah-6 |
51 | Sangmin | 115 | Austin-50 | Kaleb-17 | Katurah-26 | Kellie-22 |
51 | Survivor Chicks | 115 | Dee-49 | Katurah-26 | Kellie-22 | Kendra-18 |
51 | Whorse Girlz* | 115 | Austin-50 | Kaleb-17 | Katurah-26 | Kellie-22 |
51 | Will Strip for Peanut Butter | 115 | Dee-49 | Drew-31 | Kaleb-17 | Kendra-18 |
58 | Hard Things (NearlyNina) | 114 | Dee-49 | Kaleb-17 | Katurah-26 | Kellie-22 |
58 | Sorry For You (@jrbsu) | 114 | Austin-50 | Jake-25 | Kaleb-17 | Kellie-22 |
60 | BeviFam JoJo | 113 | Austin-50 | Drew-31 | Katurah-26 | Sabiyah-6 |
60 | Don't Let Your Dreams be Dreams | 113 | Dee-49 | Emily-20 | Katurah-26 | Kendra-18 |
60 | Team Generic Whites | 113 | Drew-31 | Emily-20 | Jake-25 | Julie-37 |
63 | Generic Survivor Character Archetype | 112 | Austin-50 | Jake-25 | Kaleb-17 | Sifu-20 |
63 | Kristanxmarie | 112 | Dee-49 | Drew-31 | Katurah-26 | Sabiyah-6 |
65 | BostonRobFan4Ever | 111 | Bruce-34 | Dee-49 | Kellie-22 | Sabiyah-6 |
65 | orangealfy | 111 | Austin-50 | Jake-25 | JMaya-14 | Kellie-22 |
65 | Random77 | 111 | Dee-49 | JMaya-14 | Katurah-26 | Kellie-22 |
65 | WillBeAwesome | 111 | Austin-50 | Drew-31 | Katurah-26 | Sean-4 |
69 | Zelda will be fiiiine! (Child of John) | 110 | Austin-50 | Bruce-34 | Hannah-0 | Katurah-26 |
70 | Big Boom | 109 | Austin-50 | Bruce-34 | Hannah-0 | Jake-25 |
70 | Chris Cross | 109 | Brando-9 | Bruce-34 | Dee-49 | Kaleb-17 |
72 | Break the Law | 108 | Emily-20 | Jake-25 | Julie-37 | Katurah-26 |
72 | Secret Ninjas (Child of John) | 108 | Jake-25 | Julie-37 | Katurah-26 | Sifu-20 |
72 | Suck it up, Buttercup (Disqus: Winner) | 108 | Dee-49 | Drew-31 | Kellie-22 | Sabiyah-6 |
75 | ****fuck******** (itsafuckingSTICK) | 107 | Bruce-34 | Dee-49 | Emily-20 | Sean-4 |
75 | bailey | 107 | Austin-50 | Brando-9 | Katurah-26 | Kellie-22 |
75 | Bev Malory | 107 | Dee-49 | JMaya-14 | Katurah-26 | Kendra-18 |
75 | Boston Rob and the Heartthrobs (twitter: @ajkray) | 107 | Austin-50 | Brando-9 | Katurah-26 | Kellie-22 |
75 | Scarlet Fever | 107 | Austin-50 | Jake-25 | JMaya-14 | Kendra-18 |
75 | Survivor 50: Ohio | 107 | Austin-50 | Bruce-34 | Kaleb-17 | Sabiyah-6 |
75 | Time For Pudding | 107 | Austin-50 | JMaya-14 | Kaleb-17 | Katurah-26 |
82 | Bev Lynzi | 105 | Bruce-34 | Emily-20 | JMaya-14 | Julie-37 |
82 | Daddy Jeff | 105 | Drew-31 | Emily-20 | Julie-37 | Kaleb-17 |
82 | The Cat’s Pajamas | 105 | Julie-37 | Katurah-26 | Kellie-22 | Sifu-20 |
85 | Stick to the Plan | 104 | Austin-50 | Katurah-26 | Kellie-22 | Sabiyah-6 |
86 | [Carolyn Screams] | 103 | Dee-49 | Katurah-26 | Kellie-22 | Sabiyah-6 |
86 | Evil Regals | 103 | Julie-37 | Katurah-26 | Kellie-22 | Kendra-18 |
86 | Replacant (Storms Husband) | 103 | Austin-50 | Jake-25 | Kellie-22 | Sabiyah-6 |
86 | Thank You, Jeffrey (@Khallison94) | 103 | Austin-50 | Jake-25 | Kellie-22 | Sabiyah-6 |
86 | toneloke | 103 | Austin-50 | Brando-9 | Katurah-26 | Kendra-18 |
91 | Ben Folds Fan IN 3D!!! | 102 | Austin-50 | Brandon-1 | Jake-25 | Katurah-26 |
91 | Prom King | 102 | Austin-50 | Brando-9 | Kaleb-17 | Katurah-26 |
93 | Has a Face on It | 101 | Bruce-34 | Jake-25 | Kellie-22 | Sifu-20 |
93 | Rex's mama | 101 | Austin-50 | Brando-9 | Jake-25 | Kaleb-17 |
95 | hornacek | 100 | Dee-49 | JMaya-14 | Kaleb-17 | Sifu-20 |
95 | Not-So-Super Fan | 100 | Austin-50 | Katurah-26 | Kendra-18 | Sabiyah-6 |
97 | AlisaShorty | 99 | Drew-31 | Jake-25 | Julie-37 | Sabiyah-6 |
97 | Fugees&Funyuns | 99 | Austin-50 | Kaleb-17 | Katurah-26 | Sabiyah-6 |
97 | Hatch Did Nothing Wrong (@zekethebeast.bsky.social) | 99 | Austin-50 | Kaleb-17 | Katurah-26 | Sabiyah-6 |
97 | NeverGiveUpNeverSurrender-bassmanxvi | 99 | Drew-31 | Katurah-26 | Kellie-22 | Sifu-20 |
97 | Schmops Survivors | 99 | Austin-50 | Brandon-1 | Katurah-26 | Kellie-22 |
97 | Snsetblaze | 99 | Bruce-34 | Julie-37 | Kellie-22 | Sabiyah-6 |
97 | Stickin to the Plan | 99 | Austin-50 | JMaya-14 | Kaleb-17 | Kendra-18 |
97 | Survivor ATeam | 99 | Bruce-34 | Jake-25 | Kellie-22 | Kendra-18 |
105 | Baby’s first survivor (@americanhie) | 98 | Dee-49 | Kaleb-17 | Katurah-26 | Sabiyah-6 |
105 | Boston Rob and the Heartthrobs | 98 | Austin-50 | Hannah-0 | Katurah-26 | Kellie-22 |
105 | Diamonds are Forever | 98 | Austin-50 | Kellie-22 | Sabiyah-6 | Sifu-20 |
105 | People's champion Luke Toki | 98 | Austin-50 | Brandon-1 | Jake-25 | Kellie-22 |
109 | Stir the Pot, Ladies! | 97 | Julie-37 | Kellie-22 | Kendra-18 | Sifu-20 |
109 | Uncle Jeff | 97 | Dee-49 | Jake-25 | Kaleb-17 | Sabiyah-6 |
111 | BevFam Dad | 96 | Bruce-34 | Drew-31 | JMaya-14 | Kaleb-17 |
111 | JaxoN.s.ReeveS | 96 | Austin-50 | Brando-9 | Kaleb-17 | Sifu-20 |
111 | Kinda Cute Boyz | 96 | Bruce-34 | Jake-25 | Kaleb-17 | Sifu-20 |
111 | Lira2012 | 96 | Drew-31 | Kaleb-17 | Katurah-26 | Kellie-22 |
111 | Moxie’s Picks | 96 | Austin-50 | Brando-9 | Hannah-0 | Julie-37 |
111 | Panic (Todd City) | 96 | Brandon-1 | Dee-49 | Katurah-26 | Sifu-20 |
117 | Gauna124 | 95 | Dee-49 | Jake-25 | Kaleb-17 | Sean-4 |
117 | Wife of John | 95 | Austin-50 | Kaleb-17 | Kellie-22 | Sabiyah-6 |
119 | Mai Tais and Pringles | 93 | Austin-50 | Brandon-1 | Jake-25 | Kaleb-17 |
119 | Tdravesyaboi | 93 | Austin-50 | Kaleb-17 | Kellie-22 | Sean-4 |
121 | DukesDregs | 92 | Brandon-1 | Bruce-34 | Emily-20 | Julie-37 |
121 | Second Chance 2 Please: mattroiland17@gmail.com | 92 | Brandon-1 | Dee-49 | Jake-25 | Kaleb-17 |
123 | Bev Tae | 91 | Bruce-34 | Emily-20 | Kaleb-17 | Sifu-20 |
123 | I can get loud too wtf | 91 | Austin-50 | Brando-9 | Katurah-26 | Sabiyah-6 |
125 | Carolyn Smelling YamYam's Breath | 90 | Jake-25 | Kaleb-17 | Katurah-26 | Kellie-22 |
126 | Dog in a Bowl | 89 | Brando-9 | Bruce-34 | Emily-20 | Katurah-26 |
126 | Goliath Strong | 89 | Austin-50 | Kaleb-17 | Kendra-18 | Sean-4 |
126 | Purple Rock Big Jerm | 89 | Brandon-1 | Dee-49 | Kaleb-17 | Kellie-22 |
129 | All about the hair | 88 | Austin-50 | Brandon-1 | Kaleb-17 | Sifu-20 |
129 | Lildukky | 88 | Brando-9 | Julie-37 | Kellie-22 | Sifu-20 |
131 | ANAPAULARJ | 87 | Dee-49 | Emily-20 | Hannah-0 | Kendra-18 |
131 | BadPlayer's Nu-BWB | 87 | Dee-49 | JMaya-14 | Kendra-18 | Sabiyah-6 |
131 | Black Widow Brigade | 87 | Julie-37 | Katurah-26 | Kendra-18 | Sabiyah-6 |
131 | jeffpleasestopcastingweirdos | 87 | Brando-9 | Drew-31 | Jake-25 | Kellie-22 |
131 | Team Yomi (@mason_laney_) | 87 | Austin-50 | Brando-9 | Kellie-22 | Sabiyah-6 |
136 | 9 Toe Tusslers | 86 | Austin-50 | Katurah-26 | Sabiyah-6 | Sean-4 |
136 | NoEyesInBlindfold | 86 | Jake-25 | Julie-37 | Sean-4 | Sifu-20 |
136 | StormofCuteness | 86 | Bruce-34 | Katurah-26 | Sabiyah-6 | Sifu-20 |
139 | AubrysWinnersEdit | 85 | Bruce-34 | Jake-25 | Sabiyah-6 | Sifu-20 |
139 | Forever1267 | 85 | Brando-9 | Drew-31 | Jake-25 | Sifu-20 |
139 | She Died, Dude | 85 | Dee-49 | Hannah-0 | JMaya-14 | Kellie-22 |
139 | This Challenge Is On (Twitter: @MattieIsHungry) | 85 | Austin-50 | JMaya-14 | Kaleb-17 | Sean-4 |
143 | Bev mom | 83 | Emily-20 | Jake-25 | Kendra-18 | Sifu-20 |
143 | I Can't Drive 45!!! (ADS) | 83 | Bruce-34 | Kaleb-17 | Katurah-26 | Sabiyah-6 |
143 | Smuff It Jeff | 83 | Drew-31 | Emily-20 | JMaya-14 | Kendra-18 |
146 | ChitownSnakes | 82 | Drew-31 | Jake-25 | Kellie-22 | Sean-4 |
146 | Dubious Rob | 82 | Brando-9 | Jake-25 | Katurah-26 | Kellie-22 |
146 | Erin‘s Empire | 82 | Jake-25 | JMaya-14 | Kaleb-17 | Katurah-26 |
146 | Fairplay Boyz | 82 | Austin-50 | Brando-9 | Kaleb-17 | Sabiyah-6 |
150 | BevFam Malory | 81 | Dee-49 | Hannah-0 | JMaya-14 | Kendra-18 |
150 | JgirlPlayz | 81 | Austin-50 | Hannah-0 | JMaya-14 | Kaleb-17 |
152 | Can I have your jacket? (@bimtarthelmes) | 80 | JMaya-14 | Katurah-26 | Kellie-22 | Kendra-18 |
152 | r/Survivor | 80 | Drew-31 | Kaleb-17 | Katurah-26 | Sabiyah-6 |
154 | BatLeon's Late to the Game Team | 78 | Brando-9 | Jake-25 | Katurah-26 | Kendra-18 |
154 | Rimi | 78 | Brando-9 | Drew-31 | Emily-20 | Kendra-18 |
156 | alsoCatskillSurvivor | 77 | Brando-9 | Katurah-26 | Kellie-22 | Sifu-20 |
156 | Dad | 77 | Austin-50 | Kaleb-17 | Sabiyah-6 | Sean-4 |
156 | Pancham Party | 77 | Austin-50 | Brando-9 | Hannah-0 | Kendra-18 |
156 | Parade of Losers | 77 | Drew-31 | Jake-25 | Kaleb-17 | Sean-4 |
156 | That’s tough | 77 | Brando-9 | Drew-31 | Kaleb-17 | Sifu-20 |
156 | The G.O.A.T | 77 | Bruce-34 | Kaleb-17 | Sabiyah-6 | Sifu-20 |
156 | the sky is falling | 77 | Brando-9 | Drew-31 | Emily-20 | Kaleb-17 |
156 | violina23 | 77 | JMaya-14 | Kaleb-17 | Katurah-26 | Sifu-20 |
156 | Weenor | 77 | Brando-9 | Bruce-34 | Emily-20 | JMaya-14 |
165 | Madeintampa | 76 | Julie-37 | Kaleb-17 | Kendra-18 | Sean-4 |
166 | John’s ball sweat | 75 | Brando-9 | Katurah-26 | Kellie-22 | Kendra-18 |
167 | Fransesqua | 74 | Brando-9 | Jake-25 | Kellie-22 | Kendra-18 |
167 | JesseDidNothingWrong | 74 | Jake-25 | Kaleb-17 | Katurah-26 | Sabiyah-6 |
167 | John (Husband of Wife of John, Father of Child of John) | 74 | Brando-9 | Kaleb-17 | Katurah-26 | Kellie-22 |
167 | What's Going On? (4 Non Blondes) (S. Quirky) | 74 | Katurah-26 | Kellie-22 | Sabiyah-6 | Sifu-20 |
171 | Beebs | 73 | Austin-50 | Brandon-1 | Hannah-0 | Kellie-22 |
171 | DukeSilver | 73 | Austin-50 | Brandon-1 | Kendra-18 | Sean-4 |
173 | A Fucking Stick | 72 | Austin-50 | Brandon-1 | Kaleb-17 | Sean-4 |
173 | Ms. Sweaterfan | 72 | Katurah-26 | Kellie-22 | Kendra-18 | Sabiyah-6 |
173 | Rubber Ducks in the Sun | 72 | Jake-25 | Kaleb-17 | Katurah-26 | Sean-4 |
176 | BevFam Tae | 71 | Bruce-34 | Emily-20 | Hannah-0 | Kaleb-17 |
176 | Justice for Sonja (@buttibro1) | 71 | Kaleb-17 | Katurah-26 | Kellie-22 | Sabiyah-6 |
178 | D&L | 70 | Jake-25 | Kaleb-17 | Kellie-22 | Sabiyah-6 |
179 | Chickennugget | 69 | Kaleb-17 | Katurah-26 | Sabiyah-6 | Sifu-20 |
179 | Dam blue pancake (Child of John) | 69 | Brando-9 | JMaya-14 | Katurah-26 | Sifu-20 |
179 | I'm An Office Manager, Definitely Not A Lawyer (Adam B) | 69 | Emily-20 | Kaleb-17 | Katurah-26 | Sabiyah-6 |
179 | Parv should have 2 wins: automattic17@gmail.com | 69 | Brando-9 | Jake-25 | Kaleb-17 | Kendra-18 |
179 | Vlachosen ones (Jake Armes) | 69 | Drew-31 | JMaya-14 | Kendra-18 | Sabiyah-6 |
184 | AsherJiskool | 68 | Jake-25 | Kaleb-17 | Sabiyah-6 | Sifu-20 |
184 | BevFam Lynzi | 68 | Bruce-34 | Emily-20 | Hannah-0 | JMaya-14 |
184 | Buffalicious | 68 | Austin-50 | Hannah-0 | JMaya-14 | Sean-4 |
184 | gilbert grape | 68 | JMaya-14 | Katurah-26 | Kellie-22 | Sabiyah-6 |
184 | MalcolmIsMyCopilot | 68 | Emily-20 | Jake-25 | Kaleb-17 | Sabiyah-6 |
184 | The Tees Knees | 68 | Brando-9 | Emily-20 | Kaleb-17 | Kellie-22 |
190 | Fuck You Brad Culpepper | 67 | Kaleb-17 | Katurah-26 | Sean-4 | Sifu-20 |
191 | Friendchooser | 66 | Brando-9 | Drew-31 | Sabiyah-6 | Sifu-20 |
191 | Richard Hatch's Tax Returns | 66 | Brandon-1 | Kaleb-17 | Katurah-26 | Kellie-22 |
193 | Cirie’s biggest fan (@MSchlegel89) | 65 | Brandon-1 | Jake-25 | Kaleb-17 | Kellie-22 |
194 | BevFam Mom | 63 | Emily-20 | Hannah-0 | Jake-25 | Kendra-18 |
194 | RBsPlayas (@rbeezy17) | 63 | Brando-9 | Katurah-26 | Kellie-22 | Sabiyah-6 |
194 | Rupert’s Tie-Dye | 63 | Brando-9 | Drew-31 | Kaleb-17 | Sabiyah-6 |
194 | team long shot (@FayeNBlue) | 63 | JMaya-14 | Kaleb-17 | Katurah-26 | Sabiyah-6 |
198 | SouljaBoyTellEm (hillhouseemily9@gmail.com) | 62 | Emily-20 | Kendra-18 | Sean-4 | Sifu-20 |
199 | Rara | 60 | Brando-9 | Drew-31 | JMaya-14 | Sabiyah-6 |
200 | Bro lo el Cordero | 58 | Brando-9 | Brandon-1 | Drew-31 | Kaleb-17 |
201 | Bergs05 | 57 | Brando-9 | Emily-20 | Kellie-22 | Sabiyah-6 |
202 | The Dreaded Women's Alliance | 54 | Hannah-0 | Katurah-26 | Kellie-22 | Sabiyah-6 |
203 | Queenslayers to the Front | 53 | Kaleb-17 | Katurah-26 | Sabiyah-6 | Sean-4 |
204 | Jeff's Blue Shirt | 52 | Kellie-22 | Sabiyah-6 | Sean-4 | Sifu-20 |
205 | The Coconut Phones | 50 | Brandon-1 | JMaya-14 | Kaleb-17 | Kendra-18 |
206 | Davidthemailman | 48 | Brandon-1 | Kaleb-17 | Katurah-26 | Sean-4 |
207 | Side Character | 47 | Brando-9 | JMaya-14 | Sean-4 | Sifu-20 |
207 | Yeltra | 47 | Emily-20 | Kaleb-17 | Sabiyah-6 | Sean-4 |
209 | ry17dog | 46 | JMaya-14 | Kellie-22 | Sabiyah-6 | Sean-4 |
210 | Survivor BTeam | 44 | Brandon-1 | Emily-20 | Kaleb-17 | Sabiyah-6 |
211 | Its an Effing Llama | 43 | Hannah-0 | Kaleb-17 | Kellie-22 | Sean-4 |
212 | All hail, Carolyn our queen! | 42 | Brandon-1 | Emily-20 | Kaleb-17 | Sean-4 |
212 | Ulong or Bust | 42 | JMaya-14 | Kendra-18 | Sabiyah-6 | Sean-4 |
214 | BEHK | 39 | Brandon-1 | Emily-20 | Hannah-0 | Kendra-18 |
215 | AmethystIsAPurpleRock | 37 | Brando-9 | Kendra-18 | Sabiyah-6 | Sean-4 |
216 | Jeff's Dermatologist | 31 | Brandon-1 | Hannah-0 | Katurah-26 | Sean-4 |
217 | TheForRealDeal | 28 | Brandon-1 | Kaleb-17 | Sabiyah-6 | Sean-4 |
218 | Richard Hatch's Tax Returns (Disquis @joey_lee) | 22 | Brandon-1 | Hannah-0 | Kaleb-17 | Sean-4 |
219 | 0 | |||||
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219 | 0 |
Champions League:
Wait, Mark is in first place here too? What the fuck? Mark and Mike Hirsch are now essentially locks to come back to next season’s fantasy league. Forever1267 and my wife, both known for their exceptional taste in men, both lost their final player this week and will not receive an automatic invitation to next season’s league. Condolences.
Team | Pick 1 | Pick 2 | ||||
---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
1 | Purple Rock Mark | 71 | Bruce | 34 | Julie | 37 |
2 | Mike Hirsch | 68 | Austin | 50 | Kendra | 18 |
3 | Yau-Man Forever (ATLANTAxFALCON) | 63 | Dee | 49 | JMaya | 14 |
4 | DesiSurvivor | 46 | Emily | 20 | Katurah | 26 |
5 | Carterfan | 35 | Drew | 31 | Sean | 4 |
6 | Forever1267 | 29 | Brando | 9 | Sifu | 20 |
7 | The Ladder | 26 | Jake | 25 | Brandon | 1 |
8 | Wife of John | 23 | Kaleb | 17 | Sabiyah | 6 |
9 | Carolyn Screams | 22 | Kellie | 22 | Hannah | 0 |
Other leagues
This week we focus on “I Can Draft Picks Too, What The F***!“, a league which features known commenter Ben Folds Fan in 3D!!! (those exclamation points are not indicating my excitement, they are merely part of the username). Thank you, Jeffrey is in the lead here, though not as big of a lead as I would have expected after they only lost one player. And I am confused about the order of the player names here, because if they put the names in the order they were drafted, that means BFF3D (heh, BFF) drafted Brandon first? That’s certainly a choice.
Normally I’d be inclined to root for any commenter, with exceptions made for any commenters with whom I have a personal grievance. So let me just check my personal grievances notes here and make sure we’re in the clear before making a decision. Oh right, I’d forgotten Kemper did that. Dead to me. Huh, almost forgot about that thing with Prom King. This note just says “TheForRealDeal- Canadian”. Hmm, looks like BFF3D can safely receive my endorsement. Congratulations!
If you would still like to make one of those leagues, you can do so now. You can find the pages for those leagues here (there are multiple tabs for these, depending on the size of the group).
John is the co-host of the Purple Rock Survivor Podcast. He can get loud too, what the fuck!
Favorite seasons: Heroes vs. Villains, Cagayan, Pearl Islands, Tocantins, Cambodia