Like every Survivor fan on the Internet, the Purple Rock Podcast staff spent the morning discussing the upcoming season and episode (only a few hours away!). We already made our predictions, but what do we WANT to happen? What DON’T we want to happen? That was our discussion, and we thought we’d share it with you.

First Boot that Would Bum You Out the Most

Andy	John	Emma	Mark	Matt
Vytas	Shirin	Stephen	Varner	Savage

Andy: Vytas, because what it suggests about the visitors to our site and what we may have to deal with all season. Other than that? I’m not sure. I’m pretty agnostic about these things.

Emma: Ignoring the meta game of Vytas… Probably Stephen, honestly. Maybe Kelley, especially for fantasy purposes.

Andy: Stephen is up there too. That’d be disappointing.

Emma: Oh, Varner would be a bummer, although we’ve at least gotten a lot of entertainment from him already.

Mark: Varner would be disappointing because he and the fans have built him up so much, and we’d be robbed of confessional gold. See: Outback.

Matt: My answer is obvious. (President of the Andrew Savage fan club)

Andy: Maybe Savage, just because there’s become an undercurrent of Savage resentment that I’m reflexively being contrarian against.

John: No comment necessary.

First Boot that Would Bother You the Least

Andy	John	Emma	Mark	Matt
Tasha	Woo	Woo	Kass	Kimmi

Matt: Kimmi

Andy: Kimmi is probably the right answer. Although I’d probably be happiest with Tasha. Tasha going would come with the benefit of making me look smart, which is obviously always the most important thing to me.

Matt: Right, of course Andy.

Emma: The only reason I wouldn’t want Tasha to go are the unfortunate implications.

Matt: Ditto for me on why I’m hesitant to say Tasha. Oh, Joe. If Joe goes, I give zero fucks. Because it just gets a boot we know is coming out of the way and it provides first boot intrigue.

Andy: I’d be a bit bummed with Joe. Just because I want the emerging conventional wisdom about alliances and threats to fail. Spencer would bother me for similar reasons.

Emma: I would be more bummed if Spencer went than Joe. Although Joe is the closest thing to a cute guy right now.

Mark: Kass has built herself up so much as the ultimate troll that the bridge collapsing on her would be poetic.

Winner that Would Bother Us the Most

Andy	John	Emma	Mark	Matt
Shirin	Keith	Keith	Woo	Woo

Andy: Another fun question: which winner would bother you the most? For me it’s Shirin and it’s not close. For obvious reasons. (Those obvious reasons being that John would be insufferable. No shade on Shirin, I just can’t deal with it).

John: Keith

Emma: Keith

John: Woo is a close second.

Matt: Woo

Mark: Woo!

Andy: Okay, so it wasn’t that fun a question.

Most Interesting Possible Winner

Andy	John	Emma	Mark	Matt
Kass	Kass	Kass	Varner	Kass

Andy: Who would be the most interesting winner? Varner, right? Maybe Shirin? Both would have really interesting paths to victory.

John: Varner. Savage would be interesting if he basically plays the same game as before and wins, because there’s an argument that he was on the path last time.

Andy: Savage would be a remarkable emotional journey, but would probably be edited in an insufferable way. Like more obvious than Mike. Because if they have a chance to give Savage a hero winner’s edit… they’re hitting that sumabitch HARD.

Emma: But Matt would be so happy.

Matt: Yeah, Savage winning would take away the allure of Savage.

John: A Kass winner edit would be balls-out amazing.

Andy: John wins. Kass winning would be the most  AMAZING thing ever.

Matt: Kass would have the best freaking winners edit ever.

Emma: Kass would be pretty amazing.

John: Oh my god, it would be mind-blowing. People would lose their shit.

Andy: We would be the only place on the internet celebrating her week to week, it would be delicious.

Andy: Felt bad tweeting that we reached a consensus without Mark, but we had a quorum.

Mark (much later): Exciting winner? Varner because of the Second Chance theme, while also being a worthy player. I think Wigglesworth, Stephen, and Kimmi would get good stories from this, but they wouldn’t be as compelling.

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So what are your picks? I’m sure you’re having a hard time thinking about anything else, so share them in comments below. It’s almost time to start the season!