You may have heard that we have decided to eliminate the Predictions post and won’t be predicting week to week boots. This is all true. The fact is, we were just too good at it. It ceased to be fun. But as I watched the premiere I was overcome with a feeling of deja vu. I had seen this all before.

And because I have access to a website that for some reason will publish my wild ravings, I decided to make a weekly column out of it. So every week this season, I will be going beyond merely predicting the next boot, as such a thing is child’s play as evidenced by my past history in the prediction columns. Instead, I will be selecting a rock-solid, never in doubt, guaranteed winner’s pick. I call it Matt’s Premature Winners At War Wildly Ambitious Winner’s Prognostication. Or Matt’s PWAWWAWP. Catchy, no? Let’s dive into this episode.

First a little more preamble. An important thing to understand about how I watch this show and make my PWAWWAWP is that I do so scientifically. It is important to evaluate all the evidence at hand and apply it to a crucible of testing and peer review. And I tell you this because I want you to be able to trust my PWAWWAWP as much as you can. Sometimes my PWAWWAWP won’t make you happy, sometimes my PWAWWAWP won’t make me happy! But I cannot dispute the results. If this is what my PWAWWAWP tells me is going to happen, this is what is going to happen. As for the evidence? Well, I have 21 seasons of Survivor that these contestants have actually won before to compare their portrayal and individual moments to directly. I have all the evidence in the world!

And this is why it gives me no pleasure to report that my PWAWWAWP is Michele Fitzgerald.

Longtime followers of the PRP may know that I do not care for Michele. I do not think she played a good game in Kaoh Rong, and I was surprised at her winning in the end. Moreover, her win was treated as a proxy war between Edgic and non-Edgic people. All outward signs appeared to be pointing towards an Aubry win. But the Edgic-ers were convinced that Michele was the winner. And losing this battle is precisely why I am so confident in my PWAWWAWP. See I studied this season, I paid attention to what I missed, and better than anyone else I know how a Michele Fitzgerald winner’s edit is put together. And that is why there was a moment in the first hour that stood out to my practiced, expert eye.

It was back at camp, Michele’s tribe (and because she is going to win, this is HER tribe) was discussing strategy. While they were discussing strategy, Michele was standing there, saying nothing as the camera focused on her. Standing in a camera shot and saying nothing is classic Michele! I have seen this game before, dammit! You cannot trick me by trying to convince me that Michele is in a bad spot simply because she lost an ally. I am not a fool. Michele is a classic PWAWWAWP precisely for this reason! Just compare these pictures and you’ll see the same energy from her.

Where’s the difference I Spy? You cannot find what does not exist. So congratulations Michele Fitzgerald you are the first PWAWWAWP.

But readers, far be it for me to have the final word! Who do you think is the episode MVP?