It’s time for this week’s check-in with those crazy Kiwis competing for peanuts.

Episode 9

It’s week 5 of Survivor NZ and the boys have gotten rid of big bad Shay. Now boys will be boys and by that I mean they will do incomprehensible things like pulling an enormous log to camp and sing nonsense chants. Honestly gentleman, if this is what you are like in groups without women I’m thankful to have been born with a vagina. (not all men obviously). Jak says one of the dumbest things a man can say when he said: “no girls can tell us what to do and we are ready to take over the world”. Bruv, you have the world, you’ve had it for time immemorial. You’ve lost a tiny bit of it and you think the sky has fallen in.

It’s time for Redemption Island. That’s early you think, well it is. Everyone is invited to the duel which pricks up everyone’s ears and they all think MERGE; and it is! The winner from the Duel re-enters the game. It’s a house of cards challenge and both sides want their ally back in obviously.
Georgia starts off badly, she’s shaking and can’t get a base but she fights her way back into it. Suddenly all of Georgia’s fall and Shay manages to finish before Georgia really gets started again. I fear we lost one of the most dynamic players this season pre-merge. Georgia had the combination of strategic thinking and interesting personality this show is lacking at this point and it sucks to see her go. Even if I’m a little excited by the fact that the boys alliance shouldn’t be able to easily get the numbers post merge.

The Casar Tribe goes back to camp for the merge feast and now it’s game on. Interestingly when Mike lays out the split he believes it is 5-5 and he has Shannon but I’m not sure that will be the case and if the writing is on the wall there is a good chance Tom will jump ship too. Avi and Shay talk and Shay has seen through Tom’s vote rouse of the last tribal.
Avi wants to bring Tom back in but Shay is not interested.

It really is game on, Shannon is pretending to be in with the boys, or is she pretending? She doesn’t seem to be and Shannon is well away that being in the middle isn’t great as you are on the bottom whichever way you choose and the other side will hate you. Well unless you are Tony or Officer Sarah. The boys are working on Avi, Tom and Jak want to convince him that it would be Avi, Shannon, Tom and Jak as the top 4.

Reward Challenge is a memory one and Mike wins, he choses Shay and Shannon to share it because they came 3rd and 2nd respectively which is a nice move. (Tom also came 3rd and let the ladies have it). They have 5 minutes to eat it and it’s gross.

Jak refuses to shut up, he has exceptional pop culture knowledge but he will not close his goddamn mouth about them. Lee is Kiwi Ozzy, he decides to build a new shelter to better use the tarp. He has nicer hair than Ozzy too. Then I’ll be honest my stream went down so I didn’t watch the last 5 minutes of the episode.

Episode 10

We come back and Lee is still being Mr Camplife. He even vocalises that he is completely Ozzy 1.0, he isn’t strategizing, just fishing, building and being island boy generally.

Tom continues to work on Avi, telling him that they should go to the end with Barb. Avi though has the whole game mapped out though and that can only mean that Avi is going to get blindsided at some point.
This episode is basically a continuation of the previous until the challenge. Shannon is in the middle and needs to decide which side she’s on but it’s fairly obvious she’s with Avi and the old people. They get on great (I ship it). The boys keep working on Shannon and Avi and the old people are just sitting tight.
Lee then burns a horn that Nate wanted to bring home to his son or something. Nate doesn’t like Lee doing things his own way.

Immunity: Oh Jesus, the immunity necklace looks like a rather talented 7 year old made it as a Mother’s Day gift. The challenge is to balance a ball on a disc held up by ropes. The ball innuendo is strong. There is a lot of wind and it takes people out quickly. Mike wins and he really needed to and then Barb passes out standing up after putting in a bloody great performance in the challenge. The weird thing is we don’t see anything of the treatment and the tribe go back to camp without her.
Barb’s absence makes things slightly interesting, it gives Shannon a lot more power. But it’s fine, she’s back. The boys are playing cards (yes playing cards!) with Avi.

It’s Tribal time. What’s it all about Nate? It’s about trust, Shannon agrees. Lee talks about the complex the new tribe is. Sala talks about big moves earning respect. Blah, blah tribal is everything you expect it to be, no big revelations or anything. They vote and Matt is getting the hang of pulling them out and reading them. Lee is voted out 6-4 as expected but he’s not on the Jury, he’s off to Redemption Island and in true Ozzy fashion he points at someone probably Shannon or Avi and says “you better hope you don’t make it to Redemption Island”. How can he be surprised by this? Avi was never flipping, he did the bare minimum to convince the boys he would and after Mike he’s the obvious physical threat.

WAIT, it’s a surprise immunity challenge there at Tribal. How very early Survivor of them, I assume this is so they can have a redemption duel next episode. But no… CLIFF HANGER.

Survivor NZ Edgic 

Edgic continues to support Georgia making it back from Redemption Island and winning the whole thing.

Kemper Boyd

Kemper Boyd became a fan of Survivor after watching Cook Islands because of all the press about the theme, she managed to watch every season by the start of Fiji and has been watching and rewatching ever since.

Favourite seasons: HvV, Pearl Islands, Cook Islands, Micronesia and SJDS.

Favourite players: Sandra, Kim, Nat Anderson, Cirie, Parvarti and because she needs to pick a man, Yul.